Ballad of the Safety Tips Blues

Open my e-mail,
what do I read?
Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!
TV, radio,
what’s the feed?
Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!
One of these days
I’m gonna flip.
Day and night
it’s a constant drip
of Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!

Really, I’m serious!

“Don’t be a don’t bee,”
Romper Room creed.
Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!
More supervision?
Just what I need!
Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!
Be real soon
I’m gonna flip.
Day and night
it’s a constant drip
of Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!

Stop! It’s not funny!

On the bathroom wall,
they post them there.
Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!
Cute little drawings
everywhere.
Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!
Sooner or later
I’m gonna flip.
Day and night
it’s a constant drip
of Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!

Take a number, ok?

Death, dismemberment,
financial ruin!
Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!
Better watch out for
what you’re doin’.
Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!
Count to ten
I’m gonna flip.
Day and night
it’s a constant drip
of Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!

How does the “block sender” deal work again?

Do me a favor
don’t pass ‘em on.
Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!
I’m too damn old for
this marathon.
Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!
That’s it! That’s it!
I’m startin’ to flip.
Day and night
it’s a constant drip
of Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!

Please don’t forward this to everyone you know. Just consider it an unchained letter.

Tell them I died
in happy ignorance of:
Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!
Day and night
it’s a constant drip
of Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!
Safety Tips!

.