Burma Shave

How long was I dreaming?
Sitting at the wheel
Steering with my forehead
Sitting on my thumb
Careening down this highway
In my automobile
Runnin’ over road signs
Just to break the tedium
Well the road
Is muddy
Where it ends
Is your grave
And the punch line
Old buddy
Reads Burma Shave

Saw the Buddha in my headlights
That old son of a bitch
Swerved with the purpose
Just to end his little game
He bounced off the fender
And disappeared into the ditch
He moves fast for a fat man
Threw off my aim
Well the road
Is muddy
Where it ends
Is your grave
And the punch line
Old buddy
Reads Burma Shave

Head cop in my rearview
Head cop up ahead
A fireplace in the basement
Mansions in the sky
Stopped to help a holy man
Whose face was turning red
While chanting for the innocent
He swallowed down a fly
Well the road
Is muddy
Where it ends
Is your grave
And the punch line
Old buddy
Reads Burma Shave