Siddhartha Gautama

Siddhartha Gautama was a human being who sat beneath a tree holding a sign that read: “Will Meditate for Food.” He was as successful at that as it is possible to be.

Word is he died fat and happy. Accounts of his death otherwise lack intelligibility.

Siddhartha liked to rap a lot about various subjects. Many people follow his ideas religiously. They call him Buddha, which means a dude who knows a lot about what it’s all about.

There are those who argue that Buddhism is merely a system of beliefs. But to the casual observer, Buddhists seem to worship Siddhartha as God. The temples, priests, monks, nuns, and whatnot leave that impression.

The followers of Jerry Garcia’s wisdom are called “Dead Heads.” Jerry also died fat and happy and liked to rap a lot about various subjects. I don’t know at what point guys like this become deities. Jerry isn’t there yet, although his fans’ behavior certainly borders on worship at times.

I believe Jerry’s problem is living after the advent of pants. Once it is established these are donned one leg at a time by the wearer, it’s hard to make the leap to divinity. Even though Jerry eventually grew too big for his britches, he bought bigger ones and put them on just like the rest of us. If only he had switched to kilts, who knows?

If Gautama and Garcia were both drowning and you could only save one of them, that would be a tough call. After all, nobody has ever heard Buddha play the Blues.

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