THE SPIRIT ANIMAL gig is not what it used to be. Believe me! These days you’re likely conjured by some fakakta accountant from Tulsa head tripping a caribou dream quest scenario. Maybe you help them grok the barren tundra their investment portfolio has become. How about: “Some days the Polar Bear eats your ass?” Deep stuff like that. Information any Inuit nose picker knows from the get go really messes with their id.

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